tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post3989445446347301639..comments2023-08-10T06:54:52.424-04:00Comments on Merrys Cloister: CharityEm the ludditehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05359153420554079853noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post-62887696632558736952012-03-27T19:04:05.371-04:002012-03-27T19:04:05.371-04:00waiting for Lent IIwaiting for Lent IIAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post-67395829492119886132012-01-31T14:51:54.463-05:002012-01-31T14:51:54.463-05:00"Right now I suppose I'm less concerned a..."Right now I suppose I'm less concerned about what I should do in these cases than I am with the fact that I tend to resent the folks whom I try to help."<br /><br />This sometimes afflicts me, too. I wonder whether there is a connection between helping someone (especially when they <i>ask</i> for help) and resenting them. We think of things generally in terms of trades, even if we don't intend to. When we help someone, we expect something back on some level--that something might just be respect or recognition or, in this case, the work she promised. When that relationship is damaged (ie. when we don't get our side of the bargain), we get grumpy. But charity is not supposed to be a deal, fair or otherwise. I don't know how to overcome that sense, though.Christian Hhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10019240793982424774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post-43107820331685373252012-01-26T22:08:45.357-05:002012-01-26T22:08:45.357-05:00Perhaps it would... I've never known how to de...Perhaps it would... I've never known how to define the term. All I was noticing the other day, however, was that the begrudging annoyance I had from the beginning eventually outshone my do-gooderliness. You're right to suggest that love might involve actions that don't seem nice. Right now I suppose I'm less concerned about what I should do in these cases than I am with the fact that I tend to resent the folks whom I try to help. That was what seemed to shine through the other day.Em the ludditehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05359153420554079853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post-52038835729075344802012-01-26T08:38:13.098-05:002012-01-26T08:38:13.098-05:00I guess "tough love" would stick to the ...I guess "tough love" would stick to the original deal, which was fair. It's not helping her (or loving) to let her keep doing this? If you care long term.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post-67599261053953556042012-01-21T22:37:19.587-05:002012-01-21T22:37:19.587-05:00Beats me... these issues always do. Sending her a...Beats me... these issues always do. Sending her away from the get-go would have involved just as little love, I assume. The problem with giving to people without any love behind it is not the giving to people, of course, but the lack of love. The right thing to do is to love, and all I know to do is to pray that I grow in love.Em the ludditehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05359153420554079853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-752362391889135500.post-25841574478889997722012-01-21T22:26:08.863-05:002012-01-21T22:26:08.863-05:00So I'm not sure, what was the "right"...So I'm not sure, what was the "right" thing to do, therefore?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com